Jonathan’s Cream Filled Center


Current mood:tired

Today I just realized something, something truly great.  Throughout my life, I have been surrounded by so many people and it has been a rare gift to find mature people, who do what they know to be right, despite the feelings they have, or what they “want” to do.  It is painful, and very hard sometimes, but in this life we have gotten to a point where we know better, and are actually taking steps to make sure our futures are healthy, and not just our futures, but the futures of the other people involved as well.  I am finding that my peer group seems to be getting things together, figuring things out, and realizing what is important.  I feel I am arriving a little late, and I know I have a long ways yet to go, but I am learning.

I have had to make some decisions like this on a regular basis over the past year or so, and I can say that it is not easy.  Maybe it is experience, all of these things in my past coming together painting a few more parts of the picture, so that I can see things just a little more clearly.  But I think that is only a part of it.  I have many of my friends to thank for connecting so many of the dots in my mind (you know who you are).  I have such a long ways to go, but I am happy I have made it to the point where I can actually make decisions that are not driven by my selfish interests, but by what is right, what is best.  I am not that strong yet, I feel that in some situations I was just a hair away from just going for it, letting my feelings take over and doing something I knew was not the right way to go, but God seems to fill the gap when I fall short, and He gives me strength when mine fails.

Tonight I am not quite leaping for joy, but I am overall happy with my situations.  I would like to mention to anyone who might have the slightest idea what my vague rambling is about, if anyone needs to talk, I am here, with an open ear, and a caring heart.  If someone is going through something and would like to talk, I would like to listen.

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