Archive for September, 2007

Hypocrisy, Mistakes, Trusting in God

Current mood:accomplished

Hypocrisy, an interesting term, and something I do not like.  How does a person follow God’s guide?  Am I a hypocrite?  In order to tell if you are a hypocrite, I believe it may take a bigger scope of your life than you would normally see at a given time.  I have just taken a step back and looked at my actions, and I think that I am being a hypocrite.

Here is the kicker, this is not a horrible realization!  It is not a bad thing to realize that you have made a mistake, that is the first step to growing from it and possibly making it right.  The reason it is not a horrible thing for me is that I have been praying about it for some time.  I have asked God to be my guide in everything I do, including this situation.  This is what God can do for you.  I asked God to show me what would be right in his eyes, and he did.  Now my part in this, just like every other time he shows me the path, I have to take it to heart and act on it, make the choice and make it happen.

The fact that I feel I have been a hypocrite is not something that scares me.  We all have to keep in mind that we are not perfect, and above all else, we truly must realize that God loves us and cares for us even in these times when you are making a mistake.  This is what we all truly must grasp in our relationships with God, no matter what happens, He is there, no matter what blunder or tiny mistake we make, He is there for us, we need only to call on Him.  I believe shame and fear are our own doing, and the closer we hold to God, those aspects fade.  God is forgiving, no matter what you do, if you come to him, he can make everything better, and you will be forgiven if you ask for it.

I went in with confidence, my fear fell away, I knew that God would guide me, and He is, I only have to listen, take to heart what I am shown to be good, and act accordingly.  So this is what it is like to trust in God…  I like it!

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Jonathan’s Christian Beginnings

Current mood:calm

Out of nowhere, thoughts come into my head, like a conversation between two people, I think things over in my head, and my ideas and understandings are revised.  Time and time again, as I work through things in my mind, I get these realizations, where I understand something just a little bit better, or something I have been wondering about all of a sudden makes perfect sense.  Just yesterday I was thinking about religion, and how I used to look at it, and how it was the wrong way to look at it.  From my point of view it was passed down to me by family and church as this set of rules, things that I could and could not do.  It also included many things that I had to do if I wanted to be a Christian.  I get the feeling that I am not the only one who had that idea.  Now I have a totally different perspective, and I was thinking about how I had viewed religion in the past, and I realized that was not at all what it was suppose to be.  Now I know it is about having a relationship with God, that is where it begins, that is where it always seems to begin.  Here is a fragment of my thoughts as I jotted them down:

Its not the rules, the rules have nothing to do with it, my perspective changes, my desires change, and I just end up doing what I am impressed is the right thing to do.  It just so happens that the rules are going along with what I am finding is right.  But I have thrown away the rules, walked up to God, and asked him to guide me, that is the only way for me to go.  To throw away these sick twisted dirty rags tainted by man’s hands, and to start over with God.  I do not want a relationship with rules, I want a relationship with God.  Do not let the rules of a given religion or the ways of man taint your view of God, who is perfect and good.

Now I must comment on that, I have held onto many rules, but only the ones where it says in the bible that God gave them to man.  I am not saying that I did not break some of them, because I have, I am far from perfect.  What I am saying is that it is a relationship with God which is the beginning, that is where we need to start.  Following the rules does not come first, they are only a symptom of loving God and developing a relationship with Him.  I do not follow any of these rules because I have to, I choose to follow rules because they are good and right, and I want to follow them.

Also, when I say “I have thrown away the rules”, I am meaning all of the rules put together by various members of the Christian religion that I believe have deviated from God’s good rules and plans he has laid out for us.  I am now moving forward with a sincere interest in searching out God’s plans for us, and the guides he has laid out.  Just as people have done in the bible, I am searching out his decrees and precepts.

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Jonathan’s Growing Conscience

Current mood:relieved

I want to be able to look back and see the things that I have done, and say with full faith, I did what I believed was right, completely, in this situation.  I mean, what is worth more, really?  Money?, what people think of me?, my driving record?, or how I look back and see what I have done, and if I can feel good about my decision or not.  That seems like a good clear choice to me.  I can be cleaver any day, I can get what I want anytime I really want, I can do so many things to get my way.  Temptation is everywhere, personal gain is so appealing sometimes, but I guess the question is, where are my values.  I want to be good in God’s eyes, I want my will to be something that Jesus could look at and be ok with.  I want to do what is best, I mean truly good for me and everyone around me, as in how God defines good, in every situation.  I guess one could ask why.  What is my motivation?  That is a question I will have to answer some day, something I will have to figure out.  I can’t really put my finger on why at the moment.

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