Archive for June, 2006

A Glimpse Into The Mind of The ADD

Current mood:weird

Here is a small glimpse into the mind of an ADD person.  I just had this thought while writing to a friend.  I just got to the end of a paragraph, and was wondering what to write next, and out of nowhere, I remembered something about panda being a nickname.  Panda’s are Asian animals I think, Asian is a type of food, I like most Asian foods, last time I had Asian food was at the panda express, I remember almost eating the fortune out of a fortune cookie on accident because I only had one hand free while running out of the Alderwood mall, the first thing I thought I read on the fortune was “You have the personality of a weiner”, but on closer inspection of the fortune, it said winner.  What ever, so I went back to thinking about what I was going to write next, but into my mind popped the name of a type of wiener, Oscar Myer.  Curious on how to spell it for no apparent reason, I opened up another tab and went to and searched for my misspelling of Oscar Myer.  After clicking on the “Did you mean: Oscar Myer” link gave me, I came to some links, I went to the most interesting link which was the 3rd one down.  It went to “Urban Dictionary: Oscar Meyer”, which goes into some interesting definitions for Oscar Meyer, things I was not aware of, but thought were hilarious, you should check it out.  Out of nowhere I figured that this would make an interesting blog, so here it is.

I am amazed that I can ever get any work done.

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Venting Thoughts, A Good Woman

Current mood:contemplative

Ok, to be blunt like I am, I am looking for a good woman, fun, outgoing, and athletic (optional), but must be in good health.  I must say, someone like that is hard to find.  And when you do, things are not as they appear to be, and then everything falls apart.  I don’t really want to be alone for the rest of my life, but I will be by choice if I can not find someone that fits with me.  If I am with someone who I do not fit with, then it degrades their life as well as mine, and I can not do that to someone.  So the right one is a little hard to find.  I am sure you can related to “the right one is hard to find”, well at least if you are looking for the right one.  What sucks is that I am what no woman (or at least very few) thinks exists, most guys say they are like me, but are not.  Back in Cypress, I made the mistake of telling Jeremy about how I felt about Sunny, and how I would treat her.  Next thing I know, he is dating her, they are together, and my feelings, being unchanged, I continue to describe what I would do in every situation when it came to Sunny (nothing sexual or anything like that, it was pure love).  Anyways, in the end, I helped my best friend win over the heart of the girl I loved.  Not too smart now that I think about it, he ended up just throwing it all away over sexual related issues.  Starting at the end of that situation, though I am not sure I should really mention this to anyone, it took me over 10 years to come to the point where I was looking for another girlfriend.

I could never cheat on someone I am with, it is just not possible, it would be wrong, beyond anything I could express, but that is just me.  I not too long ago had a problem that presented itself with my last girlfriend.  I was too trusting (maybe), and too forgiving (true, but that does not sound good).  I ended up forgiving things I should not have, like a stolen car and money, cheating on me, and drugs.  I trusted the lies she told, and forgave the wrongs she had done to me.  To an extent, that is good (forgiveness and trust), but not in my situation, at least not to the extent I took them.  One month after all of the above mentioned situations came to play, I did end up saying, “I love you, I hope all of the best for you, but for my sake, I have to let you go”.  That was a good decision, I wanted to help her, but there are limits, or at least I came to the conclusion that in order for me to continue life in a positive way, I could not be with her any more.  I have learned from that experience, it will not happen again like it did then, but it has not broken me, I will still trust, love, and forgive, but with open eyes.  I did not put up walls after that, how could you actually get to know another person and develop a relationship when you have walls up, I prefer going in with my eyes open.  Besides, when you have those walls up, you will reject so many things that would turn out to be great parts of your life, I know this to be true.

Here I am, stuck in a small town, looking (maybe) for the right woman, or at least open to the possibility.  I am surrounded by mostly “normal guys” (assholes) and am stuck with being stereotyped as one of those “normal guys”, no matter what I say, because those assholes (many “normal guys”) say the same things just to get what they want out of what ever woman they are trying to get with.  There is not much else to say about that, other than it sucks, and I am hoping to somehow overcome this issue one way or another.

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A good quote I ran across

Current mood:optimistic

To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children…

To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends.
To appreciate beauty.
To find the best in others.
To leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition…

To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived
This is to have succeeded.


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