Archive for category Values

Reality Check

What is the United States of America? Is it land, a place with borders, or is it mainly a body of people that reside in that land? Pardon me while I lead the witness. I would argue that it is the people, and lay out the first words of the constitution of the United States of America as evidence to support that idea. I would also go further and solidify the the meaning of the USA (we the people) with a statement from the declaration of independence. The statement is simply “all men are created equal” which I read as meaning all mankind, every person is created equal, and equal meaning no one person or their time is worth more than another.

What is money? Specifically what is the American dollar? What is its purpose? What is the intent in the United States of America having the US Dollar? Evidence here will be a bit harder to come by. Here comes a little more witness leading. I would argue that in the most basic self interests of the country that created the US dollar that it is for the better of the USA “we the people”, for a strong and fluid working economy, to strengthen “we the people”, and our country as a world entity.

What if, with the above in mind, certain people managed to manipulate the economy, fix it at the governmental enforced policy level, all the way to the day to day squeezing of citizens to maximize collection of the US dollar, and then they horded the vast majority of all US dollars in bank accounts, on and off shore.

What is treason? I would put forth that the meaning of treason is “the crime of betraying one’s country”. Is hording that which was intended to strengthen the USA (we the people, everyone created equal) a betrayal of the country? If not so clear, when would it become clear that there is a betrayal? What if 50% of the people had 90% of the US dollar? What about if 10% of the people had 90% of all the US dollars. How about 1% of all the citizens of the USA had 90%+ of all the US dollars? At what point does hording the prosperity of the United States of America become betrayal. At what point is it not just being a strong man, or a rich man, but a man hording prosperity from the United States of America because of their refusal to reinvest in their own country, but instead hording it.

What if a time came when one person working 16 hours a day could not pay for proper child care, rent, or healthy food for their family, because of the hording of the US dollar, manifest by the underpaying for nearly every profession. Isn’t it a slight against our country for one person to work 16 hours and only pull in 224 dollars, and another work 4 or less, but bring in thousands or more? How can “all people are created equal” even mean anything in the light of such clear inequality.

Is it socialism to put boundaries on hording the US dollar, and forcing reinvestment in the USA, to strengthen the USA (we the people), so that we can be a strong country, not just a country of people weakened by the few hording prosperity.

I don’t suggest the persecution of the rich. I suggest that the USA needs to use its governmental powers to place boundaries so that the USA (we the people) can share in the prosperity of being a part of the greatest, riches, most influential, and powerful country in the world. We need the US dollar to be reinvested, not horded, and that can only be done via taxes, and reasonable wage limits.

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Why Be A Bible Thumper When God Is Active Today

I was thinking the other night about my daughter, and how I could reflect that God is relevant today in everyday life.  When I was growing up, hell, into my 20s, I didn’t read the bible and most of the described events in there, that I have heard from various sources surrounding me, were very hard to relate to today, to the struggles we deal with just trying to survive in this society, bent on rich people getting richer on the backs of the poor most of all, and then the middle class.  Today I can see some major similarities, some relevancy that I have never seen before, but that was only due to the insightful people I have been exposed to, and the research I have done.  I will do my best not to get off on a rant about legal tender, and the hording of it, using government as a tool so that those with it get to keep more of it than those without.  Regardless of what I see today that I didn’t when I was younger, how can I relate to my daughter how God fits into:

  • Being different than everyone around you.
  • How to make friends.
  • Where to find the right people to surround yourself with.
  • How to get a job in a tough market with an inadequate skill set and education.
  • How to find the right person to spend your life with.
  • Then, how to actually spend your life with a person you live with for the rest of your life.
  • How to tell when it is time to leave, a job, an abusive situation, a community.
  • How to find a way to stay when things are tough, and why.
  • What kind of car to buy and why.
  • A reason to live.
  • How to deal with debt, and what it really is.
  • How people work, their motivations, and how it makes everything in society predictable and sad.
  • How to keep on going when you know how broken society is.
  • How to deal with difficult people.
  • How to actually forgive someone.
  • Why to forgive someone.
  • What is love.

LOL, as if I could list all the things.  But the list goes on and on, and every human needs to learn how to live, and every one of these elements fits in, and God fits into every one of these elements.  I have heard from people this sad misunderstanding where they say “God doesn’t really fit in to taking care of my family, making ends meet” extremely paraphrased of course, but the idea is clear, they could not fathom how God fit into everything it takes to live today.  Like finances, you can bible thump a lot of verses out about that, and not that they are worthless, but the societal gap, the lack of understanding of how things were then and how things are now, and how they were very similar, really kills the application of the bible to today.  Subject after subject, you will fail to relate, so much lost in translation, and not just in translation of language, but translation of the situations that were in play then, and the same damn thing happening in one form or another today.  David was right, there is truly nothing new under the sun, but starting out in your understanding and if you are lucky, study, none of it hits home.

As a father, I can’t help but revisit how it was when I was young.  I still don’t know how I can help a young person see and believe that it is real.  As a young boy, I was a hard case, one even today I would not know how to crack.  Sometimes I wonder if the best thing we can do is raise them as close to how you want them to be, and pray.  However, I worry about being just another “Christian” family that makes a little atheist because we paint and live such a hypocritical life, oh Lord, let us not live a hypocritical life.  I believe that all atheists are in one form or another the fault of God believing people being terrible in the name of God, or while living under His name as “Christians”, okay I am getting off topic.

So, to summarize, I have come to the conclusion that the bible is good, but only after seeking God with all your heart and having Him guide you through it, otherwise it can be used as a tool of evil, just remember, even Satan used it for evil, and still does.  Spiritual things are spiritually discerned.  I think something that may help relate to a young person who God is, and what He wants for us, is to write down the statistically anomalous events in our lives where God clearly pulled some strings.  Not to discourage described events from the bible, but without described events from a little more recent time, it will be very hard to relate.  One day I want my little girl to recall a story of where we had no food and no money, and the very day we prayed, out of nowhere people were cleaning out their pantries, and started to show up with boxes of food, and I want her to pray, and see what happens.  I know my Friend, He will not disappoint a humble prayer, from a pure honest heart, who seeks Him, with all of their strength.  Or I want her to look back, when she finds herself in a hard place with work, to recall daddy telling about how he just could not make it, there was no way to get out of debt, and prayed, and within a month was being paid nearly 3 times as much in a new job.

Heh, “doesn’t really fit into life”, that is really missing the mark.  The wife I have, the home I have, the car I have, the child I have, the health I have, the fact that I am alive here today, only because of God.  I have experienced how He really does fit into life, in every way.  Its not simple, its not easy, it takes work in prayer, study, choice, belief, and action.  You can’t con God, He is a *person, and I wouldn’t expect Him to respond to someone being a shit saying “prove you exist” (I did that once, didn’t work), but He will respond to someone who humbly believes in Him and calls on Him, asking some of the simplest of life’s questions.  Many would say to that “how convenient”, and I would say “yup, deal with it, it is His choice, what would you do if for thousands of years you have interacted with your creation, and then a generation decides to discount a portion of written history for all kinds of reasons, and someone who still believes asked for help, and one who doesn’t believe asks for you to prove yourself again, who would you rather respond to?”.  I can’t presume to speak for God, but I can say it seems fair at this point in history to let people believe what they want to believe, and respond to those who believe and call on Him.  From my perspective, God has nothing to prove, at least not to me or mankind, He has done so quite enough in history.

I am so glad God is in charge of all that.  I am not equipped for His job.  The story is never quite as simple as I put it, I classically, at least part of me, wishes it were.  Frankly I took the long way around, as I put it, I had to hit some walls before I even thought to ask God about any of those line items.  Terrible relationships, before I finally asked Him to take care of that, but I was fine being single, ether way was ok at that point. I ended up going to bars to find friends and such, and I found that doesn’t always end well, and dare I say, from my experience, it has a high statistical probability that it is not going to end well.  So I asked where I can find a good woman.

My next blogs will tell those stories, and how God responded.

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Logically Looking at Vaccinations

First, let me state that I am all for vaccinations!  Vaccines have eradicated many terrible diseases, and greatly helped to reduce many many other occurrences of disease.  I do however have a problem with shortcuts, toxic ones, and the effects they can have on people.  I am against choices being taken away that lock us into paying corporations for sub par products, or products where harmful short-cuts were taken.  I want vaccinations without toxic compromise.  The argument that it is “only a little amount of toxin” is bullshit, it is the little things that add up to create big problems, or increase the incidents of big problems.

This has kept me up at night a lot, being a parent, which means every choice I make can have effects throughout the rest of this little precious person’s life.  Vaccinations, a hot topic for sure, and for understandable reasons on both sides.  There is a ton of money in vaccinations, it is not a non profit organization, there is world wide good that it has effected, and giant pharmaceuticals are behind these products, with a lot to loose.  Parents want what is best for their children, diseases are terrible, suffering children is terrible, the irreversible effect of some diseases is terrible, no one wants their child sick, fear is one of the most powerful driving forces humans have, sometimes illogically.  Another note about feelings in general, I have observed that the more feelings a person has, the less logical and fact/metric based their decisions become, the more facts/metrics are even flat out ignored.

As much as the “free market” is often rigged, there are still many concepts that are real and factual.  A corporation without any incentive to change, will not put forth any effort to change a profitable thing.  The only forces that drive change, are money based, as in, if they can easily make more money, they will, or if they can do something to prevent loss of money, they will do it.  One element of this is a consumer driven one, where a consumer has the choice to evaluate and choose to buy, or not to by a product.  When that is taken away, this leaves a disconnect between what customers want or don’t want, and what a corporation produces.  Over the years, corporations have slowly bought their way into government, via lobbying, and via money to put their people in office for the specific goal of making governmental market controlling changes, basically you can read that as, they take away choices or effect of the people on their corporation’s product, usually locking their product in, and others out, but sometimes making their product a mandatory requirement.  Vaccinations are well into the “being made mandatory stage” and they have good arguments for it, ones I agree with, how could you disagree with eradication of terrible diseases.  However, mandatory goodness turns ugly when money is involved.  The “save the world from disease” has lost all incentive to do the best they can for the good of the people, and has cut corners, and refused to change, because it doesn’t have to, there is no monetary benefit to change, no incentive.  Any “for the good of the people or product” is not enough to drive business changes, not in this economy, not in this accepted corporate structure and society.  I know this because I have seen it from the inside, year after year, the only incentive for change is money, the blood of a corporation.  If you’re “bleeding” fix it, and if no one notices the problem, or we can cover it up, that is good enough, because it has prevented “bleeding”.  Corporations always act to make more money, and that is not a bad thing, but how they do it can be, and what they ignore can also be bad, especially in medical or other bodily products.

The world is united to eradicate as many diseases as possible, new vaccinations are being produced constantly.  The vaccine producing corporations have leveraged the Government to help organize and enforce this through many mandatory measures, and have the CDC promoting all that they do.  We have even reached the masses with media convincing people of what ever they want with regard to their product’s goodness.  Yay, all is good….. But wait, as with all giant things and momentum, it is good until it isn’t, but at this point, it is so big, who could possibly stop it if something were wrong.  Skydiving is great until you find there is something wrong with your parachute, and then what.  That brings us to this day and age.

Here comes the problem, or the punch line, if you will, with regard to vaccinations.  History has taught us that metals are tricky things.  Even from ancient times (Roman empire, etc.) people have noticed that many metals are toxic, such as lead and mercury.  We have also learned that our body needs some metals such as iron, zinc, copper, manganese, chromium, molybdenum and selenium.  What what we need to note is that there are some metals that are not good, and many of them cause neurological disorders among other things.  Both lead and mercury are well known for causing neurological issues.  Aluminum is repeatedly showing up as having links to neurological issues as well, especially clear with Alzheimer’s disease, where they have found 4 times the concentration of aluminum accumulation in the brain when compared to a normal person’s brain.  Aluminum bioaccumulates in the body, tissues, and organs over time, and I suspect some places it does not ever leave from.  Just like other diseases that vaccinations are eradicating, these metal based diseases are terrible, and there is often no significant reversing of the effects.  Mercury is still often used in vaccinations, and aluminum is present in most vaccinations.  The thing with aluminum is that it is big big big business, it is used all over the place, and even its refining byproducts which they used to just dump as worthless toxins, has turned into another often mandated no-choice product that makes money, called fluoride.  Fluoride is another subject that is worth discussing at another time, as it does play a part chemically in the body if both come together, they do tend to bond.  Aluminum is found in cook ware, dishes, food, building materials, electronics, toys, body care products, health care products, and injectable medicals supplies as a preservative and as an adjuvant, and on and on, just about everywhere.  There is very little that would have such an effect on the economy of the world and corporations around the world as finding that aluminum were toxic and a cause of neurological disorders in children and adults.  This would be the thing to hide if there ever were a thing to hide, especially with regard to vaccines, which are government and often community mandated in schools and child-care, or other group child scenarios.  Vaccines are the most direct intra-bodily delivery system for aluminum, and mercury for that matter, there is no absorption ratio, it is 100% in the body after injected, and its removal is fully loaded on the body’s ability to dislodge it from tissues it accumulates in, and cleanse it out of the body through the kidneys and liver.  Eating aluminum has a 1% absorption ratio, and is not comparable, call bullshit if anyone tries to compare the 2, because it is just ignorant bullshit, nothing more.  Back in the day it was clear enough for the American Academy of Pediatrics to recommend that aluminum and mercury be removed from vaccines, but recently they mysteriously reversed their recommendation with regard to aluminum, without good reason in my opinion.

Now to further the perspective.  If you were one of the people driving to eradicate diseases through vaccinations, and it was found out that your adjuvant was causing neurological disorders in children, perhaps through statistical analysis, in a secret meeting, you would really be careful to make sure that this problem did not stop vaccinations dead in its tracks, because it is fighting diseases.  Wouldn’t you at least consider hiding it so that corporations would have enough time to reformulate, excluding aluminum as an adjuvant?  Because it would be obvious that the vast number of increasing cases of autistic children would result in enough lawsuits to bury any vaccine manufacturer, halting any faith in vaccinations, because people overreact, especially in emotional situations like this.  Who would want that, especially when you have dedicated your life to eradicating diseases, and succeeded in many areas?  The flaw here is the idea that a corporation’s good will towards people is enough to drive change.  People ride it until it is dead in the water, and despite the world at large becoming slowly wise to the issue, it is still widely government, community, and organizationally mandated, there is plenty of riding left to be done until congress changes that, and we know how quickly that happens these days, considering how government works these days.

Corporations are in the denial stage, just like with tobacco.  They are producing all the propaganda required to keep aluminum where it is at, all of the studies promoted by those profiting from aluminum that counter any proof or study that says aluminum is a neurotoxin.  There seem to be stages that organizations go through, something like; denial with counter evidence, acceptance of the problem but blame something or someone else like by putting warnings on labels, and then in some way acceptance of responsibility but limit of losses.  If there were just more money behind real research looking for truth, and only truth, this process would be so much quicker.  But where is the money?  It is in the hands of the corporations, and just like we all know with elections as an example, who ever has the money has the advertising/media power, and who ever has the most advertising/media power convinces the most people, so in turn, corporations will win with their convincing propaganda/advertising/media.  The internet helps spread ideas, sometimes truth, but if nothing else, it gets people thinking, looking, and researching, and that is currently the only counter the world has to the hiding of the truth.

Oh, and one more thing, weather you believe in evolution or God, or both, you have to admit that the body is well tuned to know what is good for it or what is not good for it, and the entire idea behind using aluminum as an adjuvant is simply because it causes such an uproar in the body as the body does all it can to contain and remove the aluminum, that it amplifies the immune response to the actual antigen.  Basically the immune response to the weakened strain of the disease causing microbe is amplified by association to the toxin.  Our bodies know that aluminum does not belong in our bodies, but it is being ignored by people who think they know better.

If you need references, here is some fun casual reading about aluminum, after you are done reading, you tell me how much you want to inject your child with aluminum containing vaccines or other things (like the good old synthetic vitamin K shot newborns typically receive):

Trace elements in scalp hair samples from patients with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis.” (2015)

Correlation of aluminum and manganese concentration in scalp hair samples of patients having neurological disorders.” (2015)

Aluminum-induced entropy in biological systems: implications for neurological disease.” (2014)

Are there negative CNS impacts of aluminum adjuvants used in vaccines and immunotherapy?” (2014)

A sudden onset of a pseudo-neurological syndrome after HPV-16/18 AS04-adjuvated vaccine: might it be an autoimmune/inflammatory syndrome induced by adjuvants (ASIA) presenting as a somatoform disorder?” (2014)

Elevated brain aluminium and early onset Alzheimer’s disease in an individual occupationally exposed to aluminium: a case report.” (2014)

Prolonged exposure to low levels of aluminum leads to changes associated with brain aging and neurodegeneration.” (2014)

Administration of aluminium to neonatal mice in vaccine-relevant amounts is associated with adverse long term neurological outcomes.” (2013)

Aluminum in the central nervous system (CNS): toxicity in humans and animals, vaccine adjuvants, and autoimmunity.” (2013)

Autoimmune/autoinflammatory syndrome induced by adjuvants (ASIA syndrome) in commercial sheep.” (2013)

How aluminum, an intracellular ROS generator promotes hepatic and neurological diseases: the metabolic tale.” (2013)

Aluminum toxicity and astrocyte dysfunction: a metabolic link to neurological disorders.” (2011)

Aluminum vaccine adjuvants: are they safe?” (2011)

Metal ions affecting the neurological system.” (2011)

Long-term persistence of vaccine-derived aluminum hydroxide is associated with chronic cognitive dysfunction.” (2009)

Aluminum hydroxide injections lead to motor deficits and motor neuron degeneration.” (2009)

Aluminum-induced defective mitochondrial metabolism perturbs cytoskeletal dynamics in human astrocytoma cells.“(2009)

Role of metal ions in the abeta oligomerization in Alzheimer’s disease and in other neurological disorders.” (2008)

Aluminum adjuvant linked to Gulf War illness induces motor neuron death in mice.” (2007)

Neurological adverse events of immunization: experience with an aluminum adjuvanted meningococcal B outer membrane vesicle vaccine.” (2007)

Mechanisms of aluminum-induced neurodegeneration in animals: Implications for Alzheimer’s disease.” (2007)

Inflammation, neurodegenerative diseases, and environmental exposures.” (2004)

Chronic exposure to aluminum in drinking water increases inflammatory parameters selectively in the brain.” (2004)

Neurotoxic effects of aluminium among foundry workers and Alzheimer’s disease.” (2004)

Neurological adverse events associated with vaccination.” (2002)

The potential role of aluminium in Alzheimer’s disease.” (2002)


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Why I Believe What I Believe: Introduction

I feel it is time to write down what I believe, and why I believe what I believe.  I think that somehow it will be important in the future, and quite often I find that it is an important process in working out thoughts, and even finding misperceptions in beliefs, ideas, or thought processes.  Writing also has a nice way of solidifying things in the mind and memory when writing them.  If I were to forget for some reason, this is a good way to remind myself as well.  Below are the points that I plan to expand on, and for the title, shorten up.

  • I believe in the spiritual world.
  • I believe Jesus Christ is the son of God
  • I believe in creation of the world as it is reflected in the Bible including it’s timeline
  • I believe that evil spirits can prophesy about God and truth
  • I believe that God limits Himself by the rules He has put in place for free Will’s sake
  • I believe God gave us free will
  • I believe that the law of free will explains why things happen
  • I believe in miracles in the modern day and that God is active with us constantly
  • I believe that every prayer is heard and God acts even if we don’t see it
  • I believe God talks to us and communicates with us on a regular basis and sometimes we don’t even know it
  • I believe Satan is the destroyer and a legalist, the ultimate lawyer and Heaven has been turned into a sort of court room as a result
  • I believe the spiritual world has rules and those rules allow for quantifiable things like multiple people praying together having more effect than a single person
  • I believe that the closer you are to God the more intense the spiritual and physical world results of stances, decisions, and actions.
  • I believe that the 7th day is the Sabbath, and that is Saturday, and I do not believe that God or Jesus ever authorized it to be changed to Sunday
  • I believe that Elijah was torn between 2 spirits, the spirit of God, and another spirit at times.  The disciples asked if they should call fire down from heaven to consume them, Jesus said, “you do not know by what spirit you are of”.  They were referencing the historical acts of Elijah, and I believe that this shows that it is a mistake to assume all the things that the prophets have done are of God, spiritual yes, but of God, not all of it.
  • I believe Satan has had a lot more to play in biblical history accounts than we know, reflecting again that the simplistic view of the infallible bible just messes your picture of God up.  I believe that all of the fire consuming people acts were from Satan, as a legalistic move due to the seriousness of our close interactions with God.  I believe he is allowed to play in an equal access duality as to be legally fair to the legalistic Satan, so a person can be working powerfully for God, and yet be a part of something that is not of God, or even on the other hand call on ungodly powers for wonders.
  • I believe that God never intended for the people of Israel to kill their way through the promised land, but it was a concession for their hard hearts, and their war cultured minds.

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Medical Industry Letdowns

I am finding it harder and harder to trust anyone in the medical industry these days.  Just today we went in for a simple frenotomy, and the doctor told us they would not do it because they would not risk the health of our child, who is having a hard time breast feeding because of her tongue tied status.  Her issue was that we were administering vitamin K orally, and did not get the standard vitamin K shot that is considered standard and is administered as a matter of fact in the medical industry these days.  Here was our reasoning for not having the shot administered.  It is a mega dose of synthetic vitamin K, that uses aluminum as a preservative.  Aluminum is a heavy metal with known neurotoxic effects on human and animal nervous systems.  After a week of sleep deprivation I did not recall what was in the shot, so I asked her if the shot contains any heavy metals, or aluminum (at that time not being sure if it was a heavy metal).  She promptly said no, and continued to insist that she would not perform the procedure because of the apparent medically significant risk of bleeding in the brain due to how hard she would cry with the procedure.

Too little too late, we got the shot, and asked what the ingredients were.  Sure enough, aluminum.  I know all the arguments for and against aluminum in injectable medications, and I understand the claimed use in vaccines as an adjuvant, but as a preservative, I consider that just damned lazy and cheap.  I believe that the arguments for its use as an adjuvant are, though understandable, it is still a cop-out.  I believe any alternative should be found and used, even if it costs more, or is harder to manufacture, or requires boosters or a longer procedure.  What ever the case, I think it is logically unsound to say that it is good to inject neurotoxic heavy metals into infants or anyone for that matter, just as long as it is a little bit at a time.  Bioaccumulation is a real thing, and guess what, aluminum is bioaccumulated with the best of them, which means over time there is more that builds up in tissues, like the brain, the more a person is exposed, and it is dead simple logic to understand that more of a neurotoxin build up in nervous system tissue typically means more neurotoxic effect with the increase.

And damn it, what about the risk to our daughter’s optimum health when she can not be breast fed due to her tongue tied status?  I consider formula an option that is far from what I would call healthy.  It is a must of course in many circumstances, I get that, but to deny breast feeding for the first month, I consider that a health risk, when it could be avoided with a damned simple snip.

I should not need to do a bullshit test every time a doctor tells me something.  I am tired of running into this.

Oh and if you are curios, the stats for infants that were given vitamin K orally having bleeding complications are .0014% to .0064% have late VKDB, which is the only type that we could have at this point.  That is the risk that the doctor was so desperate to avoid.  I think that there is a higher risk of us getting in an accident on the way home from the wasted trip to the clinic today.

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I Don’t Like It Here Sometimes

Some days this world bothers me more than others. Who can stop by a grocery store, gas station, bank, or anything along those lines on a regular basis and not run into someone with a sob story, and illogically they think the best place to get help is at these common areas. I have been a liar, a con artist, and I was wonderful at it. I could convince anyone of anything to get what ever I wanted, and oddly enough, it usually centered around money. I know the game, I can get into it and probably turn on the tears if I needed to. How can I believe any of these people? Like some kids in an Audi saying their wallets were stolen, while one of them is texting on their phone in the car… “We need gas, or money for gas” they say. Each one has a different story, all of them sound so sad. They paint such a heart breaking story about how there is some medical issue they have, or the classic, they are trying to get to the hospital to see their daughter in a different state. Now if that were true, it would be sad.

Now think about this logically, what would you do if you had your wallet stolen? Or what would you do if your daughter was in the hospital? What if you didn’t have a bank account or enough money for a trip? Well, if I didn’t have the money, I would not go. It is that simple. If I had my wallet stolen, I would report it to the police, and call friends and family for help, and start arranging to have what was in my wallet replaced. I can not relate to any other situation, they are all illogical! The places that these people are popping up and playing their sad story is not the place that people should go for help.

I believe there are real issues happening in the world, and some people have no support system, but more often than not, it is due to burning bridges, as sad as that is. It does not mean they should not be helped. But in this world, how can a person discern truth from untruth, when so much is a scam, and any scammer can come up with a better story than the true stories?

On another note, why does this bother me so much? Why do I have it swirling around in my head while I try and sleep? Am I afraid that it was true and they needed help and were just really stupid and illogical about how they handled the situation? Maybe it is the nagging thought that it could be true, despite how illogical.

Lies hurt the world! Never is a single lie resulted in more good than harm! If you think otherwise, then you have not thought hard enough, and far enough! If no one lied (did anything to hide the truth, or anything with an intent to keep truth from being known), then the world would be something that people have not seen before. It is probably unimaginable what a world would look like without lies. Every bad thing in this world comes from a lie, from illness, birth defects, debt, divorce, job loss, no support system, the income gap, injustice, sadly most of the government and its dysfunction, crime, everything.

I don’t belong in this world. I am not sure who or what does, but it feels like a bad joke, and I really don’t like it. I see life, I don’t think it belongs here either, I think it is also prey to this bad joke.

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The First Shall Be Last, and The Last Shall Be First

The first one to run to the parent when they come home to tell on the other, they are counted as right, regardless of the truth of their story, or rightness of their perspectives. The first one to tell the teacher about something is counted as right, regardless of the truth of what they say, as they may weave untruth, or have heavy biases to suit themselves. Many would perceive he gay community as flamboyant, loud, lisping, and always outgoing, this is not the case, not for all, but how can someone perceive a group of people but by what they hear and see, and they only hear and see the ones that are loud and visible. When in a position of perceived authority, quite often the only people who will come and talk to you are the ones who are having a problem, and so all you hear is the one side, a people already clearly biased to something being perceived as an issue. Are you going to take that as a nice even balanced approach, or should you not logically seek out an exact same number of people not complaining or “concerned” and talk to them about the issue?

We need to know our selves better than this, otherwise we will end up being tools of what ever comes our way, and when the only thing that comes our way is those who already see something as a problem, despite it being a problem or not, what then? When dealing with people, imperfect people, there will be some of each person that is imperfect and broken, and there will be some of that person that is good, and we better see that, because we will be accountable to our reactions and how we handle the situation. We have the power to condemn a person who is seeking the light, and to turn them to darkness by how we respond, we better not forget that! Or we can have hope, and beat things out with God, and He will let us see things as they are, despite the only vocal ones being biased to one direction, because who comes to authority to complain but those with a complaint, while all the others who see good things happening do not speak up, because as the kingdom of this world goes, who goes to the authorities but those seeking power over, and have a complaint.

We need to never forget the example of Jesus Christ, what did He say to Pilate? What did that mean? Who did He say was the Good Shepherd? Who did He say our teacher was? Who girded Himself and washed our feet? His Kingdom is not of this world, it is not like this world, people do not come to an authority figure in His Kingdom so the the authority can control or force about a change or an action overwhelming the will of another.  We are not to be like them, that have perceived authority, and lord it over others.

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I Finally Understand Why Jesus Had to Die!

Today I was reading through Hebrews, and God showed me something I had been missing.  It seemed so simple, but somehow I have been missing this the entire time.

Let me start by explaining how I see the God and Satan thing.  I will not get into the big questions that I can not answer such as, why did God allow Satan on earth in any form, ever.  Or the question of how can a being created good by God turn evil in the first place.  I leave those for God to answer, and I always hold dear the reality, that just because I have a question that I can not answer, it does not mean anything, other than there is a question I have that I do not have an answer for.  Some people take that lack of a good explanation, and believe what they want to believe, and say, well I don’t have an answer, so God must be evil for things to be like this.  To think that way would be arrogant to the greatest extreme.  I believe that I know a little, and in the vast domain of knowledge and understanding that I do not have, in it could exist a perfectly reasonable and moral explanation to these questions.

Victorian CourtroomWith that out of the way, I see this earth as a court room, where someone is trying to hold a charge against God’s ways.  Satan is the one making the accusation, and at least one of these accusations is against mankind for betraying God, and going against His ways.  Satan claims that because they believed him over God in the garden, and time and time again throughout history, that mankind belongs to him and he has dominion over them, like God.  Much of this perspective is pulled from the setting laid out in Job, and it seems to fit in such a larger scale, that I suspect that much of the goings on here and in heaven with regard to humans, earth, and Satan, are just like what was revealed in Job.  You can find other hints of how God recognizes authorities set up by mankind in Daniel 10.  It seems clear that God has set up rules, such as free will (required for the existence of love), and authority, which He will not break or ignore.  Mankind, who He originally setup to have dominion over the earth, also has the ability to stet up over them rulers, and by taking Stan’s word over God’s word, we believed God was a liar and what Satan said was true, and thus set him up as our “god”.  Satan has since then perpetuated these lies, that God is bad, His ways suck, and that Satan’s ways are the only ways that work, or something like that.  It is hard to follow what Satan’s point is, when you know God, because all of his arguments against God just fall apart, especially after Jesus.

On to my point, I understand that by God extending Himself into the human flesh, Jesus, and then giving Himself up, showing what sin does, and at the same time showing His love and forgiveness, that He also fulfilled something powerful in the heavenly court case going on since the beginning.  I understood that humans sinning is an offense against God, and that the offended legally can forgive the offense.  That made sense.  It also made perfect sense that by dieing on the cross, Jesus proved the point that in the garden, the first lie by Satan, that God is selfish, holding back things from mankind, was false.  That alone is enough to throw out the entire case, because all of the accusations of Satan are based on a deception now proven wrong.  Think of it this way, if a piece of property is obtained by a false pretense, in court, it would go back to the previous owner.  In this situation, we are the “property” obtained by false pretense, and now with Jesus and His selfless giving up of His life on the cross, and continual forgiveness and love, that false pretense was fully demonstrated as false.  God is not selfish, He is the opposite, He is love.  I got that, but what I didn’t get was the rest of the story.  This is so totally God, when He does something, it means far more than just one thing, it ripples and echos truth and goodness in all different directions.  The wrong that was done was not a simple theft, the wrong that was done in this court scenario is sin, and the wages of sin is death.  If it were just theft, the wronged person could forgive the theft, and he himself would simply suffer the loss of what was stolen.  In this situation, with the wrong being sin, and the wages of sin is death, the wronged Person can forgive that wrong, but only by suffering the wages of the wrong, which is death.  The wages of theft forgiven is loss of the stolen item.  The wages of sin forgiven is the loss of the life of the one who is forgiving.

I don’t know if you can follow that, but it was a very neat piece that I had been missing.  Now it all makes logical sense, that is why He had to die, at least one of the reasons.  The other reason was to show the most pure expression of love, which is being willing to lay your life down for someone.  When I was a little kid, maybe kindergarten to 4th grade, somewhere around there, I called out to God, what is this love thing, how can I know if I love someone.  His answer was clear, if you are willing to lay your life down for someone, then you love them.

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We Are Screwed!

Did you know that those who intend to break the rules and laws set about today are not afraid of digital rights management?  Did you know that a person who is accustom to breaking the law and shooting people with a gun will not be worried about a new gun law?  Do you think a rule is going to all of a sudden mean anything to someone who cares nothing about the law in the first place?  Did you know that any encryption can and will be broken, any copy protection will be thwarted and it is guaranteed to be a level playing ground shortly after any encryption or copy protection is invented?  Did you know I could do anything on the internet with full knowledge that no one can track me because organizations do not cooperate or work together?  Did you know that anyone could do that if they knew enough?

Where does that leave us?  If less and less people believe in God, who will settle all accounts, and bring about people to experience their own values, then everything is ok, as long as we can get away with it, righ?  If all the rules in the world can be gotten around at some point in time, and people only care about getting caught or not, then how can order be kept?  Crime and punishment, yay, how far do you think that can really keep things going?  One police officer per person, maybe that would work, but who would police the police, because I am sure there are just as many law breaking law enforcers as there are law breaking people in the general public, percentage wise.  Don’t you think we would run out of money fairly quick to pay all of the law enforcement?  Throw them all in prison or jail, someone might say.  Do you know how much money that costs just to keep those going?  Don’t you think something is missing from our equation, because if you really think it out, and follow how things are going, it does not quite work out.

I think at some point maybe some focus should be put on teaching people why it is best to follow the rules.  Do you know why the rules are the way they are, or where they come from, or even why it is best to do things a certain way?  I am exploring that myself.  It seems that somewhere along the line, love and truth come into the picture, along with justice and good.  I am no hippie, and I have a very different idea of love than what I have been hearing the world scream since childhood.  I had to take some time to define things in my life, like sex, love, feelings, truth, right, wrong, and the differences of each one.  I had most of them confused, and wrongly connected to each other, some leading me to another, and in wrong orders.  Without God in my life, or in my world view, I think it would have been really hard or impossible to define a lot of these points.  Love is most simply defined at its most pure by this, if you are willing to die for someone, then you love them.  Love is not a feeling or an accident (falling in love is a little off), it is a choice, and feelings are involved, but feelings should not be your lead, or you will eventually fall out of love, and then leave.  Feelings are wonderful, but they should not guide your life any more than which way the wind blows.  Steering back on course, I think we take so much for granted.  We are living in a world that is graced by the benefits of principalities and values and we have forgotten where it all originated.  If each of us would only get a glimpse of what the world would look like if everyone held our own values, we would have to rethink things a bit.  We need to know where we have come from, the origin of the good laws we hold, and we need to understand that we came from God, who designed and created us for a purpose, who knows what is best for us as a master mechanic knows his engine, and has graced us time and time again with priceless information on how were were intended to function, how things were meant to be and be done, and we should be able to make the clear connection that when things are not done the way they were intended to be done, we run into problems, ultimately leading to destruction.

Hah, as if I have all the answers.  I don’t, but I would hope that people would take a moment and think about it before they have no other choice and the clear natural results come knocking.

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The Importance of What We Don’t Know

It is good to acknowledge what we know, but we damn well better acknowledge what we don’t know and hold it to equal value. If we hold what we know as more important that what we don’t know, we are holding tight to such a tiny sliver of understanding and perspective, we are quite likely screwed. We would be delusional and believe that what we know is the most important things to know, and that anything we do not know is of little consequence, without anything valid to back that belief up. We would have little encouragement to learn what we do not already know because we already know what is important, and it takes effort to learn. I would also speak from experience that learning things we do not know reveals things that we believed that were not correct in the first place, and that is a painful process, but a needed part of growing as a person. I would also state that learning something new, something that we do not already know is also quite uncomfortable. If you noticed, I just listed a bunch of things that grate against our selfish desires. We want to know important things, not be missing them, because it makes us feel important. We want to sit back and effortlessly do what ever we want, effort is not attractive to us. Who relishes feeling pain of any sort, we want to live a pain free existence, for some of us that is a major goal in life. Most of us hold high a lifestyle of comfort, we would rather our seats not be lumpy, or that we be cool on a hot on a summer car trip, and dread the though of being sticky at the end of a hot sweaty day. All in all, our selfishness, if given into, would totally prevent any growth, except for the uncontrollable things that happen in day to day life, and even then we hate, fear, and resist that.

Another aspect that plays into this is the fact that in play with our selfish desires, we believe what we want to believe and turn a blind eye to anything that contradicts it, depending on our level of selfishness. If we live a life holding highest the things we do know, and what we don’t know is unimportant, we will build a life on what we know, and as time goes, our vested interest in what we know will grow and grow, we may even write books on what we know. How much greater would we then defend what we know, even if all logic and truth point to us being wrong. We would turn to manipulation, sabotage, control, and other means to smash out anything that would contradict us in our world. That is another end that would totally suck, because it would mean you have grown the least, and end up being the least logical, and most emotional about what ever you believe in, no matter how devoid of truth it is. I have seen this too much, it makes me upset at times when I see people like this. They tend to also be the loudest, most publicized, as they try and convince people to believe them, and that they are right, because in their selfishness, that is what they want.

What percentage of everything there is to know do you say you have? Think about it. I would argue an unprovable argument that we would be dealing with infinity when measuring everything there is to know, but for argument sake, say there was a cap, we will put it at everything that everyone in the world knows about the functioning of the universe and everything in it. If you were super conceited and delusional you might say you could know at this point in time 50% of everything. Now with it in those terms, which is more important, what you know, or what you don’t know? In what areas of understanding would you assign that part you do not know, and really how would you know? isn’t that sorta the bummer dealing with what you don’t know, you also do not know what areas of knowledge or understanding you can assign it? I would argue that the odds are high that as a child to where you are now, you have not been lead to learn the most important things in life, considering how common it is to find people asking questions relating to that all the time. I myself have asked what the purpose of life is, I have even asked God to tell me a real reason to live, something that is worth something. Breathing for breathing’s sake is worthless, I would even argue that fun and pleasure are worthless and fleeting, they are a part of life, but that is not enough for me to live for.

If we could just realize, that it is of very high importance that we value what we do not know, equally with what we do know, then perhaps we could grow. I think selfishness is at the core of it. How do we deal with that one…. Perhaps that is where God comes in. Love is the opposite of selfishness, and maybe we just need to see more of Him, and that will help subside the selfishness so that we can grow. We only live 100 years, few even that long, and yet fewer past. I want to grow as much as humanly possible in the breath that God has given me, for his will, because that gives life meaning and worth.

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Hypocrisy, Mistakes, Trusting in God

Current mood:accomplished

Hypocrisy, an interesting term, and something I do not like.  How does a person follow God’s guide?  Am I a hypocrite?  In order to tell if you are a hypocrite, I believe it may take a bigger scope of your life than you would normally see at a given time.  I have just taken a step back and looked at my actions, and I think that I am being a hypocrite.

Here is the kicker, this is not a horrible realization!  It is not a bad thing to realize that you have made a mistake, that is the first step to growing from it and possibly making it right.  The reason it is not a horrible thing for me is that I have been praying about it for some time.  I have asked God to be my guide in everything I do, including this situation.  This is what God can do for you.  I asked God to show me what would be right in his eyes, and he did.  Now my part in this, just like every other time he shows me the path, I have to take it to heart and act on it, make the choice and make it happen.

The fact that I feel I have been a hypocrite is not something that scares me.  We all have to keep in mind that we are not perfect, and above all else, we truly must realize that God loves us and cares for us even in these times when you are making a mistake.  This is what we all truly must grasp in our relationships with God, no matter what happens, He is there, no matter what blunder or tiny mistake we make, He is there for us, we need only to call on Him.  I believe shame and fear are our own doing, and the closer we hold to God, those aspects fade.  God is forgiving, no matter what you do, if you come to him, he can make everything better, and you will be forgiven if you ask for it.

I went in with confidence, my fear fell away, I knew that God would guide me, and He is, I only have to listen, take to heart what I am shown to be good, and act accordingly.  So this is what it is like to trust in God…  I like it!

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Jonathan’s Growing Conscience

Current mood:relieved

I want to be able to look back and see the things that I have done, and say with full faith, I did what I believed was right, completely, in this situation.  I mean, what is worth more, really?  Money?, what people think of me?, my driving record?, or how I look back and see what I have done, and if I can feel good about my decision or not.  That seems like a good clear choice to me.  I can be cleaver any day, I can get what I want anytime I really want, I can do so many things to get my way.  Temptation is everywhere, personal gain is so appealing sometimes, but I guess the question is, where are my values.  I want to be good in God’s eyes, I want my will to be something that Jesus could look at and be ok with.  I want to do what is best, I mean truly good for me and everyone around me, as in how God defines good, in every situation.  I guess one could ask why.  What is my motivation?  That is a question I will have to answer some day, something I will have to figure out.  I can’t really put my finger on why at the moment.

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Jonathan’s Cream Filled Center

Current mood:tired

Today I just realized something, something truly great.  Throughout my life, I have been surrounded by so many people and it has been a rare gift to find mature people, who do what they know to be right, despite the feelings they have, or what they “want” to do.  It is painful, and very hard sometimes, but in this life we have gotten to a point where we know better, and are actually taking steps to make sure our futures are healthy, and not just our futures, but the futures of the other people involved as well.  I am finding that my peer group seems to be getting things together, figuring things out, and realizing what is important.  I feel I am arriving a little late, and I know I have a long ways yet to go, but I am learning.

I have had to make some decisions like this on a regular basis over the past year or so, and I can say that it is not easy.  Maybe it is experience, all of these things in my past coming together painting a few more parts of the picture, so that I can see things just a little more clearly.  But I think that is only a part of it.  I have many of my friends to thank for connecting so many of the dots in my mind (you know who you are).  I have such a long ways to go, but I am happy I have made it to the point where I can actually make decisions that are not driven by my selfish interests, but by what is right, what is best.  I am not that strong yet, I feel that in some situations I was just a hair away from just going for it, letting my feelings take over and doing something I knew was not the right way to go, but God seems to fill the gap when I fall short, and He gives me strength when mine fails.

Tonight I am not quite leaping for joy, but I am overall happy with my situations.  I would like to mention to anyone who might have the slightest idea what my vague rambling is about, if anyone needs to talk, I am here, with an open ear, and a caring heart.  If someone is going through something and would like to talk, I would like to listen.

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Who am I to Judge

Current mood:annoyed

My thoughts during a situation this evening, I had to get them out of my head, they were distracting me:

Look at me, who am I!  Truly, who am I!  I am but a humbled mess of a man, crumpled in a pile, held oh so lovingly in God’s hands.  Look at me again and ask yourself, who am I?  How can I judge you?  Do you fear the dirt you walk on, that it might judge you?  Do not answer me with fear and anger, for my questions are out of pure innocent curiosity.  I do not point my finger in judgment of you or anyone.  I love you, why do you lash out at me?  I love you all the same…

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Random Thoughts – What Makes a Good Person

What makes a person a good person or a bad person, it is not just what a person wants, or what they desire (and yes children, a desire can be “not to do things”), it is what they are willing to do to get what they want, that determines if you are a good person or not.  Are you going to do things you know are wrong to get what you desire, are you going to hurt someone, neglect something, lie, cheat, steel, rip off a company, do nothing when something needs to be done, or are you going to do what is right?  Who are you going to hurt to get what you want today?

If you ever want someone to feel comfortable coming to you when they have a problem and need to talk about it, do not judge others.  That is God’s job.  Life tends to be so much better when you get out of God’s chair.  People see when you judge others, and then they fear being judged by you, so they will not talk to you.  I just realized this when I wanted to talk to someone about a problem I was having, and decided against it because I recalled how she talks about others.  Well, I guess it is just between me and God for now (we talk all the time).

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