Archive for October, 2006

Maybe The Road is Clear?

Current mood:calm

Here is the last part of a long dream I had last night, or at least the last part of it that seemed to have some importance.  It started out with me working on the same project I am right now, and accomplishing some great things.  I had just finished my project, or at least finished what I had set out to complete with the server we demoed at work.  Here is what happened in my dream:

I was on my way home, pulled around the corner onto the road my home is on, and for once in my life, I looked and saw the road was clear, nothing in the way, nothing to stop me.  In disbelief, I scan the road again and again, I had never seen the road so clear.  So I go home and drive right through the places that should be full of crap and garbage that I thought would be in my way, and yet nothing, it is perfectly clear.  I park right in front of my home.  I get out of my truck and look around still in disbelief that nothing was really in my way, keeping me from arriving directly at home.  I look in amazement, everything is there, all of the obstacles that I had expected were there, yet the fact remained that I had driven right through it, nothing stopped me, and it was clear, considering my truck was not harmed, no dents, nothing, it was clear that what I had seen as obstacles in my way were not really there.  I had driven through what should have totaled my car and arrived safely at home.  Maybe things are not really as complicated as my mind sees them, or maybe circumstances are all just coming together to clear my path.

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Viruses Suck Ass!

Current mood:cold

I am sick, I have a cold.  Colds suck!  Kill me!  I am such a pussy….


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The Same Old Something New, Revenge of The Oxymoron

Current mood:tired

I live a strange life.  Every day I get up and go to work, and do the daily grind.  At work I do new things, break new ground, develop something new, and learn something new (thats the daily grind, right?).  Recently, at work and outside of work, so many new things are going on, it is almost overwhelming.  I love new experiences, new things to do, and new things to learn, but I have this internal battle going on.  Part of me knows I need to slow down a bit, that I am setting my goals too high for my own health.  If I don’t slow down, maybe I will start to trip over my own feet, overlook important things, or drive myself too hard and “fall”.  The other part of me is pushing hard, to move forward, to make something happen, to become someone, to some end that I do not exactly know what is.

Most of the changes, and new things happening in my life are by my own choice, I guess I just need to keep in mind that there is a balance I need to keep.  I will not embrace the feeling to slow down, but I will keep in mind that I have that feeling for a reason, to keep me ever aware of the balance that is needed in life.  While I push forward, I need to make sure I don’t move so fast that I overlook people, ideas, or opportunities.

I think life should always be changing, if we sit in one situation too long, the inevitable change that is one of life’s guarantees, is going to come along and rip you a new asshole (you will know what I mean when it happens).

I have not written a blog in a long time.  I think partly because I am running into that point where I have found that I am trying to move things in my life too fast, and I am working it out.  While I am taking that step back to figure things out, I am not doing anything dramatic or spectacular that is worthy of a blog.  Even this is just a steaming pile of worthless blather, another point on the “Jon’s going crazy” scoreboard.  It almost seems like a waste of a good title!  Thats ok, it is early, and I am still waking up, so its all good.

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